Counselling for Low Self Esteem
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is the evaluation you place on your abilities and your worth. It can be high, it can be low or it can be somewhere in between. Everyone can have doubts about their worth from time to time. For someone with low self-esteem, it can be an exhausting mental state with feelings of insecurity, feeling unmotivated, negative about self or the world, feeling worthless, unloved and even be drawn to destructive relationships. Having low self-esteem has a profound effect on the decision we make in our lives, as usually, the choices we lean towards reflect how we see ourselves. If you value yourself more, you are likely to make choices that reflect high self-value, and therefore more meaningful and potentially more fulfilling choices. For example, someone with low self-esteem may not pursue education or career goals, for self-beliefs that they may not measure up because ‘I am a failure’ of ‘I’m too stupid.’ It’s important to remember low self-esteem is not an accurate reflection of reality, it requires s subscription to the belief.
What Causes Low Self-Esteem?
The development of self-esteem happens from birth and is linked to experiences and relationships throughout our lifetime. Foundations of healthy self-esteem are established during childhood, through being valued, understood and accepted. It is hard to pinpoint the exact trajectory towards the development of low self-esteem, but negative experiences, troubled relationships, trauma, negative body image, previous bad choices, unrealistic goals, and negative thought patterns can factor into fostering negative self-beliefs. Self-esteem will continue to develop over time, changing with different experiences, different relationships and the choices we make.
What can I do to boost or improve self-esteem?
- Keep track of negative self-talk and when it happens eg. When I am around family I start to think about being a worthless person.
- Look for things you value about yourself eg. I value that I am a supportive friend
- Remember to be kind to yourself, everyone makes mistakes
- Celebrate your accomplishments and wins, no matter how small
- Try positive affirmation for the things you want to feel better about, eg. I like the person I am becoming
- Do things you enjoy and you feel you are good at eg. Cooking, cycling,
- Don’t compare yourself with others, everyone is fighting their own battles
- Trust in yourself or your gut, you know more than you think